{"id":5876,"date":"2023-08-14T13:35:37","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T13:35:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/?page_id=5876"},"modified":"2026-04-01T16:01:03","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T16:01:03","slug":"changing-relationships-and-roles","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.dementiauk.org\/information-and-support\/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer\/changing-relationships-and-roles\/","title":{"rendered":"How dementia can affect relationships and roles"},"content":{"rendered":"

When someone develops dementia, it can affect their relationships with the people around them, such as their partner, family members and friends. On this page, our specialist Admiral Nurses<\/a> explore how dementia might change a person\u2019s relationships and roles, and how to cope with the impact.<\/p>\n

Potential changes and challenges in relationships resulting from dementia<\/h2>\n

Dementia can change the way a person thinks about themselves, as well as the way other people behave towards them.<\/p>\n

Friends and family may be concerned that the person is vulnerable, and become over-protective. They might encourage the person with dementia to stop driving<\/a> or working<\/a>, or to give up their usual hobbies and activities \u2013 for example, if they are worried about them leaving the house alone.<\/p>\n

The changes in the person\u2019s abilities can also affect the roles of their family members. The person\u2019s spouse might feel more like their carer than their partner. Or a child who cares for a parent with dementia may feel their roles have reversed.<\/p>\n

This can lead to distress, arguments and resentment. The person with dementia may not feel that they need to be looked after, nor agree with the decisions that relatives make on their behalf. And their family member or friend may be frustrated if the person with dementia won\u2019t accept help, and worried if they think they\u2019re putting themselves at risk.<\/p>\n

Emotional changes<\/h3>\n

Many people with dementia develop changes in their mood and emotions. This may be due to their feelings around their diagnosis, or changes in the brain caused by dementia which can make emotional regulation more difficult. It may be harder for them to process their emotions and communicate how they are feeling to those around them.<\/p>\n

It is very common for people living with dementia to experience depression<\/a>, anxiety or apathy (lack of motivation towards things they once enjoyed). These changes in mood can impact their relationships with others. They may become more irritable, agitated or impatient, and withdraw from family and friends, making it harder to connect with them.<\/p>\n

If possible, creating a safe space for the person to open up about how they\u2019re feeling can help. If they are struggling to communicate<\/a> how they feel, consider if their emotional changes are a sign of an unmet need such as pain<\/a>, boredom or frustration. This can reassure the person that they are not alone, and you can explore tailored ways to help them cope with these changes in emotions and mood.<\/p>\n

Cognitive changes<\/h3>\n

The cognitive changes related to dementia can have a big impact on a person\u2019s roles and relationships. They might have problems with decision-making<\/a>, problem-solving, reasoning and concentration. These issues can make everyday activities increasingly difficult, which could be frustrating for them and their partner and other family members.<\/p>\n

The person might find it difficult to think logically, which could lead to disagreements. Or they might not understand that they need support and be resentful when family or friends try to help, especially if they were previously independent.<\/p>\n

Some forms of dementia \u2013 particularly frontotemporal dementia<\/a> \u2013 can also cause changes in the person\u2019s personality and social behaviour, which can heighten tension and misunderstandings.<\/p>\n

Communication changes<\/h3>\n

The communication challenges caused by dementia can be frustrating for the person with the diagnosis, as they might not be able to express themselves as they normally would. They may struggle to find the right words, jumble up their sentences, have difficulty following conversations or instructions, or revert back to their first language if English is their second language.<\/p>\n

Communication challenges can also be difficult for family and friends and lead to misunderstandings.<\/p>\n

It is important to stay calm and give the person time if they are struggling to communicate, especially if either of you becomes frustrated. Sometimes, using picture aids, writing things down or miming actions (eg pouring a cup of tea) can help with communication and understanding.<\/p>\n

Read our tips for communicating with a person with dementia<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Changes in roles and responsibilities<\/h2>\n

When a person has dementia, it is likely to have an impact on their roles and responsibilities. However, there is support available.<\/p>\n

Employment and income<\/h3>\n

If the person with dementia works, their relationships with colleagues may be affected. For example, their colleagues may feel that the person is underperforming, is difficult to communicate with, or is behaving in ways that are inappropriate in the workplace.<\/p>\n

For this reason, it\u2019s a good idea for the person to tell their employer and\/or colleagues about their diagnosis. This can help to reduce misunderstandings, and reasonable adjustments can be made to their role and\/or working environment to help them continue to work.<\/p>\n

At some point, the person with dementia may have to stop work. This could have an impact on their self-esteem and lead to a loss of independence. It could also create financial pressures which put a strain on relationships, especially if the person has commitments like a mortgage and dependent children. However, they may be able to claim certain benefits to help them.<\/p>\n

Find out more about employment and dementia<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The impact of becoming a carer<\/h3>\n

Caring for a person with dementia can be challenging, and it may affect your relationship with the person with dementia \u2013 for example, if you now feel more like their carer than their partner, or if the parent\/child roles are reversed. To help manage this change:<\/p>\n